Yeah. That'd be like ships with shields that can block lasers but not rocks


Author:Joe-×
Date:2017-12-28 18:32:55
Edited:2017-12-28 19:31:25
In Reply To:A plot that revolves around a a ship that runs out of gas is better than Empire? by Kosh
Views:71
Or a Vader suggesting that they could turn Luke into a powerful ally even though the Sith rule of two.

Or a disabling device that only shuts off hyperdrives but not engines.

Or an Imperial Walker? Why the fuck doesn't it just fly like a landspeeder? Did they run out of hoverboards? And if it can only shoot forward, why did the idiot rebels attack from the front? Using a gunner who is facing backward? And where does General Veers stash his Jesus cup? Why didn't they just use x-wings to attack the dumb volvos with legs.

Can't they just blow up the fucking shield generators from their star destroyers? Why are they called star destroyers if they can't destroy shit. They could call asteroids star destroyer destroyers. They should have bought ion cannons, because those things can fire thru energy shields. Could have used it to shoot them walkers.

After disarming the Wampaloompa, couldn't Luke have just decapitated it and stayed in the nice warm cave with fresh meat? No life forms on this planet except the giant wooley thing that knocked me off my llama.

PayPal was down for like five fucking years, so Han wasn't able to pay back Jabba.

This blockade ain't worth shit because Luke just kinda flew on by.

Why can Yoda lift a sinking spaceship but Vader can't lift a falling son?

Balance some rocks today, awesome laser sword fighter tomorrow.

Was there no room in the x-wing to take along Yoda?

The most advanced sensor equipment in the universe can't identify the spaceship hiding in the trash just because they turned off the headlights?

Yoda isn't the Jedi Master who trained you, you lousy lying fuck! It was Qwy Gone Gin or whatever. But Yoda trained him, so same thing - from a certain point of view...

So yeah. ObiWan completely forgot about Leia I guess.

If Luke is more valuable to Vader and the Emperor alive than dead, then the rebels should have removed his head instead of attaching a hand.

The Empire got here before you did but had to hide in closets and conference rooms for a day instead of just showing up at the landing platform.

Chewie can fix starships but can't attach robot heads properly.

Without bounty hunters the empire can't find a spaceship. Without hostages, Vader can't bait Luke into showing up.

Vader controls the most powerful force in the universe but has to use spooky needle torture for the second straight movie.

Hey Emperor, come to the Cloud City. I need you to open a can of that lightning shit on Skywalker because my only other option is this popsicle maker.

I've been alive for 900 years. I know the language and all the words. But my Jedi skills can't do diddly with the sentence structure.

There's an xwing approaching. It got here fast even though small fighters couldn't hyperspace just one movie ago. It can only be skywalker since there aren't any other xwings in the whole galaxy. I could meet him on the landing platform like I should have done with Solo and fight him there instead of setting an elaborate maze in the hopes that he will just saunter into the walkin freezer. And there's definitely no way we could possibly tractor beam him into one of the star destroyers I have on standby.

Lando arrested the whole imperial garrison who didn't have to check in with their superiors because they did that defective helmet radio TK421 why aren't you at your post gambit.

Only imperial storm troopers could be so precise except when shooting on ice planets and cloudy cities.
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